Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
