I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
