It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
