garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
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