Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
