I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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