i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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