I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
