I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
