just come out here and I will go home with you...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
