When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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