It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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