Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
