It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
