If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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