I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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