At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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