Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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