Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
