He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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