in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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