He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
