her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
im six kinds of drunk right now
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
vagina is talking i cant
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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