goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
