have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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