I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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