WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
