Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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