just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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