he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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