it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize