please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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