Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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