did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I still have a little drunk in my system
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
