Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
