Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.

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(312): View more from Illinois

i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.

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(740): View more from Ohio

The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it

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(734): View more from Michigan

Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall

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(816): View more from Missouri

I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav

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