someone threw a dead crab at me
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
