Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize