im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
