Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
