If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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