Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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