nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
