I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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