He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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