The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
