I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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