I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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