I must be too annoying 4 u.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
