Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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