I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
honey bunches of taint.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
What drink are we having for lunch?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
