This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
