Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize