I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
be right there i have to get my cape
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
