Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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